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Below are the 5 most recent journal entries recorded in dreamthin20's LiveJournal:

    Thursday, January 6th, 2005
    11:57 pm
    Affection
    Starvation of Need
    By Victoria

    My body starves
    For the attention,
    Needed, it only wishes
    For your touch.
    Sexual desire, muted
    For something more.
    My heart, it's gasping breathe,
    Watches the beauty pass away.
    Truth is dying.
    Pain is the killer.

    Touch, Touch is forbidden.
    My body starts to wither,
    Pump, Pump, Pump.
    Hear my heart.
    Hear my body.
    Crys of my agony,
    Stilled by it,
    My thought, my cry,
    My need, my hunger.

    Current Mood: lonely
    Tuesday, January 4th, 2005
    9:22 pm
    agonizing thoughts
    Okay so here is the story... I am taking two classes during wintersession which is basically taking a semester of classes in two weeks. The classes are 3 and half hours long and I am totally overwhelmed. I want to start cutting but I am nervous about doing it because of the scars it will leave. I am fixing to start teaching high school (11 and 12 grade) and I don't want my students to thing I am crazy and tell their parents. I got a couple of tips and I went today after class to by some hairbands so they want be as tight as a rubber band. I hope they work... well I am off to the bathroom to see what I can accomplish... I start get sick to my stomach but my blood starts to pump and it is like the blade is magnitized to my arm... so here goes nothing...

    Current Mood: nervous
    Friday, December 31st, 2004
    10:35 am
    The days are like flying!!! 119 more days until my wedding day. I need to lose 15 pounds before then. I just woke up so I am fixing to go to the gym, they don't open until 11 but I am ready to go. I am trying real hard to be a better and nicer person to Chris. I love him with all of my heart but sometimes he really gets on my nerves. He is always messing with me and sometimes I think he wants to make angry at him because he gets a kick out of treating me like a child. He says he doesn't treat me that way but he really does when he yells, "that's enough," and stupid stuff like that. Oh well, I will get over it... Well, I need to go....

    Current Mood: chipper
    Thursday, December 30th, 2004
    8:19 pm
    Hey
    So yesterday I started back to working out and I am trying to get back into it slowly so I don't burn myself out. Today, I did the stair master and it was a killer. Tomorrow I have to make up for what I didn't do today and for all the food that has been entered into my body. All in all, my day was pretty good. I felt real tired though. Tomorrow is my last day of break because I have to do WinterSession for two weeks while most of the students are out until the 18th. Lucky them.
    Thursday, December 9th, 2004
    9:45 pm
    Need advice
    Hey everyone,
    I was just searching and found this website. You all seem to really help each other and I really need help. I am getting married in 5 months and I try so hard to not eat and I can't do it anymore. I use to control my urges but not now. Are there any suggestions. I would appreciate them. thanks!!!

    Current Mood: anxious
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