urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:dreamthin20 dreamthin20 dreamthin20 2005-01-07T06:03:57Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:dreamthin20:1471 2005-01-07T06:03:57Z 2005-01-07T06:03:57Z Starvation of Need<br />By Victoria<br /><br />My body starves<br />For the attention, <br />Needed, it only wishes<br />For your touch.<br />Sexual desire, muted<br />For something more.<br />My heart, it's gasping breathe,<br />Watches the beauty pass away.<br />Truth is dying.<br />Pain is the killer.<br /><br />Touch, Touch is forbidden.<br />My body starts to wither,<br />Pump, Pump, Pump.<br />Hear my heart.<br />Hear my body.<br />Crys of my agony,<br />Stilled by it,<br />My thought, my cry,<br />My need, my hunger. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:dreamthin20:1026 2005-01-05T03:49:16Z 2005-01-05T03:49:16Z Okay so here is the story... I am taking two classes during wintersession which is basically taking a semester of classes in two weeks. The classes are 3 and half hours long and I am totally overwhelmed. I want to start cutting but I am nervous about doing it because of the scars it will leave. I am fixing to start teaching high school (11 and 12 grade) and I don't want my students to thing I am crazy and tell their parents. I got a couple of tips and I went today after class to by some hairbands so they want be as tight as a rubber band. I hope they work... well I am off to the bathroom to see what I can accomplish... I start get sick to my stomach but my blood starts to pump and it is like the blade is magnitized to my arm... so here goes nothing... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:dreamthin20:777 2004-12-31T16:40:08Z 2004-12-31T16:40:08Z The days are like flying!!! 119 more days until my wedding day. I need to lose 15 pounds before then. I just woke up so I am fixing to go to the gym, they don't open until 11 but I am ready to go. I am trying real hard to be a better and nicer person to Chris. I love him with all of my heart but sometimes he really gets on my nerves. He is always messing with me and sometimes I think he wants to make angry at him because he gets a kick out of treating me like a child. He says he doesn't treat me that way but he really does when he yells, "that's enough," and stupid stuff like that. Oh well, I will get over it... Well, I need to go.... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:dreamthin20:521 2004-12-31T02:21:57Z 2004-12-31T02:21:57Z So yesterday I started back to working out and I am trying to get back into it slowly so I don't burn myself out. Today, I did the stair master and it was a killer. Tomorrow I have to make up for what I didn't do today and for all the food that has been entered into my body. All in all, my day was pretty good. I felt real tired though. Tomorrow is my last day of break because I have to do WinterSession for two weeks while most of the students are out until the 18th. Lucky them. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:dreamthin20:361 2004-12-10T03:47:32Z 2004-12-10T03:47:32Z Hey everyone,<br />I was just searching and found this website. You all seem to really help each other and I really need help. I am getting married in 5 months and I try so hard to not eat and I can't do it anymore. I use to control my urges but not now. Are there any suggestions. I would appreciate them. thanks!!!